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# Mom Said Duck

Comedy About the Beautiful Mess of Motherhood

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://momsaidduck.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Pages

- [Home](https://momsaidduck.com/) - Comedy About the Beautiful Mess of Motherhood Mom Said Duck is where exhausted moms become energized audiences, laughing at the chaos of motherhood through stand-up comedy, poetry, and brutally honest storytelling. See Upcoming Shows How a Pink Slip Became a Punchline Hey, I’m Jill! I didn’t set out to become a comedian—I was pushed into
- [Testimonial](https://momsaidduck.com/testimonial/) - Testimonial Testimonials give others a chance to see if the workshop is a good fit for them. I appreciate your time so ducking much!
- [Workshop](https://momsaidduck.com/workshop/) - Duck This!A poetry workshop for moms who care, moms who swear, and moms who have messy hair!Have you had a crazy year? Would you like to be part of a cozy, fun space to get it all out?Introducing Duck This! — a workshop that will leave you feeling seen, heard, and connected to your creative
- [About](https://momsaidduck.com/about/) - About Hi, I’m Jill.I started this project because, five days before I was expecting to return to work following maternity leave, I lost my job. FIVE DAYS.And, you know what, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I think.While I was initially pissed and heartbroken, I eventually decided (read: I
- [Contact](https://momsaidduck.com/contact/) - Talk to me! Or get in touch at momsaidduck@gmail.com
- [FPF](https://momsaidduck.com/fpf/) - Fresh Poem Friday Sign up to receive a delightful treat in your inbox each week. It’s free! Email Address Sign Up Thank you! Please check your inbox for a verification email. If it's not there, try your spam folder.
- [Podcast](https://momsaidduck.com/podcast/) - Fancy a listen? Subscribe to Mom Said Duck anywhere you listen to podcasts and hear a fresh poem every Friday!
- [Events](https://momsaidduck.com/new-page/) - cheeky poems for moms who swear, moms who care, and moms who have messy hair
- [Thank You](https://momsaidduck.com/thank-you/) - Thank you! Your booking request has been received. I’m thrilled to chat with you about bringing Mom Said Duck to your venue. I hope to create an experience that leaves the audience talking long after the lights go down. home

## Poems

- [mom guilt](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/momguilt/) - Mom guilt is realAs real as the struggleIt’s as real as you feelWhen your kid and you snuggle Have I told her I loved herAny more times than him? Should I read books after bath Or, finally go to the gym? I missed my daughter's field trip’Cause I got caught up at workThat mom used vacation daysNow this one
- [mom of the year](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/momoftheyear/) - Hey there, I'm Mom of the YearOh, did you not hear that I won?I beat out all the other momsHere, let me show you how it's done...There were bumps and big bruisesOf course, tantrums galoreThere were scrapes and some scrapsAnd a few dozen times mommy sworeAppointments were missedSeems mama got the date wrongThe kids late for school
- [poo diapers](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/poodiapers/) - Each day I take a tallyOf the poo diapers that I changeDay to day and week to weekThere is always quite a rangeWhen did the baby eat corn?Oops! a whole peanut can't be good!I swear sometimes this kid shitsLike the little engine that couldIs it weird that I know ifIt's been two poos or six?Gimme
- [moms night out](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/momsnightout/) - Every once in a whileWhen mom screams and she shoutsDaddy seems to take noticeAnd suggests a night outBut for some silly reasonMoms have a hard timeFocusing on ourselvesFeeling like me time is a crimeBut eventually decideTo commit to one wild nightWhere other mamas, tooJoin in on the plightBut before the wet kissesAnd dramatic hugs at the doorThere are baths to be
- [mom said duck](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/momsaidduck/) - Hey, you guys how was your day? Daddy asks as he walks in”Oh, daddy, it was so fun!”Our girl replies with a cute spin“We ran around this morningInstead of getting dressedI saw the brush and hid real wellNow my hair is a rat’s nest!”“The afternoon got better‘Cause we didn't like our lunch,So momma whipped up
- [halloween](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/halloween/) - On October 31stAn eerie spirit's in the airIt's the only time of the yearPeople seek out being scaredHaunted houses, horror filmsGhouls and goblins hang from treesSpooky music, candy cornFound at Halloween partiesGone are the days when mamaDressed as 'Miss Provocative'The 'Tired as a Mother' lookIs surely not as seductiveKids pick a certain characterAnd it never seems to
- [christmas with kids](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/christmaswithkids/) - T'was the night before Christmas⁠And all through the houses with kids⁠Moms and dads won't hit the hay⁠Until they each place a bidAbout which child will wakeBefore the sun rises upA quiet home becomes rowdy⁠Before mom sips her first cup⁠The fun governors fend off⁠The little rascals as they swarm⁠The Christmas tree like it's prey⁠Anxiously waiting to perform⁠⁠As the kids
- [wedding showers, baby showers](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/showers/) - The weekend is approachingAnd you are feeling really thrilledFree to enjoy things you loveTo ensure your cup's refilledThat's until you pass the fridgeInvitation catches your eyeAloud you blurt, "OH, COME ON!"Which is then followed by a sighSeems as though you overlookedSome plans you did not wantSue's sisters’ daughters’ showerThat damn invite becomes a tauntYour whole
- [mother nature](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/mothernature/) - There is a magical placeCalled The Great Outdoors or Mother NatureIt costs nothing and feels divineNo matter the nomenclatureGetting outside can shiftEven the deepest, darkest moodLike the change our bodies feelWhen we eat junk, but then whole foodsLittle people feel it tooAlthough they may not realizeSo, on a day that's filled with tensionWhat an option to utilizeAll day long, they're trapped in roomsAnd
- [a best friend can](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/abestfriendcan/) - A best friend can be your crutchWhen your legs feel weak and slowShe'll shield your spirit best she canAs you take each blow by blowShe'll be there when you need herTo remind you of the goodYou have to offer to the worldWhen there's no way you ever couldWhen your body just feels achyAnd you have
- [a best friend can also](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/abestfriendcanalso/) - Now that we've identifiedThe major need for a best friendLet's discuss the day-to-dayAnd all those crazy odds and endsBest friends have a free passTo call you out on all your shitBut if someone else tries itThen you have grounds to throw a fitBest friends will laugh really hardAt each and every lame-ass jokeOthers may find
- [transitions](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/transitions/) - Our lives are ever changingDrifting from one thought to the nextLast decision maybe easyWhile the next one leaves you perplexedIt seems to me that as we growOlder, into ourselvesWe understand life more and moreAs lessons learned could fill bookshelvesInfants know their mother's faceAlso her touch, her smell, her soundConnecting mom to comfortUnspoken promise that's profoundLittle children learn to trustAssuming
- [siblings](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/siblings/) - Perhaps the most intriguingOf all of life's relationshipsIs the unique tie of siblingsWith whom one splits a membershipIt seems to me that sisters shareTheir clothing, makeup, and much moreSweet, right? But if something’s not returnedGood chance they'll bust the other's doorBrothers start with busted doorsAnd broken legs and stitched-up armsAnd would withstand all those injuriesJust
- [go the duck to sleep](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/justgotheducktosleep/) - I cannot be the only momWho counts the seconds to bedtimeAnd using what’s left inside the tankTo face that evening mountain climbCorralling children into bedIs similar to herding catsOne is running down the stairsWhile another tries on hats”I want water, mom. I’m thirsty””Need to fill up my bottle too””Have to put this in my backpack””And
- [covid birthdays](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/covidbirthdays/) - It's that time of year againYour birthday's just around the bendThat means spending your big daySurrounded by family and friendsYour fave restaurant or pubPerhaps some karaoke tooAppears the list is endlessSo many things for you to doShoot! Sorry! I take that back!'Cause it's two thousand twenty-oneAnd just like twenty-twentyIt seems there's no such thing as
- [pets](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/pets/) - Animals throughout the worldAre a gift to the human raceHow lucky that a few end upAlongside us in our spaceDoes not matter, money spentWon't guarantee a happy petTending to the furry friendWith kindness is the only betOur pets are often betterThan some humans that we faceGift unconditional loveCoupled with loyalty and gracePets teach children to
- [pregnancy](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/pregnancy/) - Mama's hands become shakyUnboxing the pregnancy testAwaiting the revealHer heart bursts in her chestTwo lines surface — omigoodness!There is a little bean in thereAnd for the next nine months or soMom’s temple becomes one to shareLife changes at that momentWhether it’s mom's first or it’s her lastA new human will arrive soonLife won't be the same as in the pastShe’s thrilled about
- [one day, someday](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/onedaysomeday/) - One day you won't need mama's helpWith annoying zippers and bootstrapsWill claim a seat to yourselfBut for right now it's on my lapSomeday we may have coffeeOr share a glass of tea or wineBut while you are an infantOn mama's breast is where you dineThere may be a day that comesWhen I am forced to
- [distraction contraption](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/distraction-contraption/) - Wanna know how moms get awayFrom tasks that feel unrelenting?We sink into our cell phonesWhich can feel a bit like ventingNow picture chilling out at homeHearing a seven-year-old sayMummy, please get off your phoneFeels like you’ve been on it all dayHeart sinks down into mama’s toesAs both eyes fill up with tearsSince setting a bad
- [hello, spring!](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/hellospring/) - Hello, spring! We've missed you!It feels so good to have you backWe've been waiting impatientlyPoor winter has received some flakWe welcome your gentle breezeGrazing both cheeks with a whirlColourful buds begin to pop Like an oyster reveals its pearlEaster Bunny makes her wayInto our homes like Old Saint NickLeaving a mess of chocolate eggsSidewalk chalk, bubbles, and chicksSpring puddles are
- [to heathcare heroes, with love](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/tohealthcareheroeswithlove/) - It surely was not long agoWhen things seemed as they shouldTo know what we had coming nextThere is no way we ever couldHandshakes have become head nodsRooms have quieted with fearEach trip we make has purposeFrom each other we steer clearHugs are on hiatusWhen the world needs them the mostNo celebrations with loved onesOr raising
- [aunties](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/beinganauntie/) - After mom and dad absorbNews they're having a babyWord soon travels to auntiesWho acts as though they have gone crazyEven while inside the wombAunts daydream of the little oneKnowing she will dote on themFor all her days until they're doneCommitted aunts are quite a forceDisregarding the ‘politics'There is nothing that's offsideNo problem they don’t want
- [‘90s moms](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/80smom/) - Raising kids in the '90sWas different than it is todayIt was a simpler time, perhapsSince life has changed in major waysPCs were all new to the sceneThe supreme cellphone did not ruleNow, we’re glued to gadgetsResembling robots like we're fools’90s moms did not worryAbout the angle of selfiesThey went about their businessA drip of Bailey’s
- [the house is always messy](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/thehouseisalwaysmessy/) - There is no better feelingThan a home that's fresh and cleanSoft and airy, sweet and lightThe homestead straight-up made of dreamsAn afternoon of cleaningWill be worth it when I feelAbsolutely jazzed insideA zest I simply can't concealFinished, my eyes close with prideAnd then I take a deep breath inBut as I start to exhaleDad and the kids walk inThe folded blanket becomesA
- [ode to canadian moms🏒](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/odetocanadianmoms/) - Once or twice a weekFrom September until MarchThe hubs plays hockey after workHe's our beer league patriarchHe leaves right at the perfect timeWhen dinner’s finally ready to eatForehead kiss, no eye contactAs I glare over at his seatDoor slams behind his giant bagAs the youngest spills his plateOur girl complains about the foodYep, tonight's gonna
- [sahm](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/sahm/) - I’m a stay-at-home-momPerhaps you also are?Appears we are the lucky onesSince it's the world's best job by farIt’s assumed we have it goodSince we watch Netflix all day longWe sleep when the baby sleepsPlay fun games, even sing songsStay-at-home moms also haveAll that precious free time on our handsTo check off all the ‘extras’That life
- [i lie sometimes](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/iliesometimes/) - Sometimes I lieTo get through the dayOften, I tell youThere’s no other wayI lie to my kidsAbout whose snack is biggerI tell them it’s equalIf not, then I trigger…A damn fight about howHer portion’s way smallerLike I give a damn duckPlease cut out the hollerI lie to them tooAbout what’s in their foodI may say
- [what's for dinner?](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/whatsfordinner/) - Day in, day out, mom doles out foodBreakfast, lunch, a million snacksBy the time the crew needs dinnerHer menu circuit feels attackedThe last thing mom wants to think aboutIs making another ducking mealWhich is why takeout and deliveryHave earned such great appealHere we are, late in the dayAgain, mom just realized The meat’s still in the freezerThis means, no chance to
- [always annoyed](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/alwaysannoyed/) - At the second my eyes openFrom that piercing crying soundIt can't be that time againMy feet aren't ready to touch groundSo it begins, a brand new dayOf being annoyed all of the timeI seek that first sip feelingMornings are not this mama's primeBrushing teeth all by themselvesMeans cutting corners through the choreThey're fine with fuzzy
- [a week away](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/aweekaway/) - A week in rad JamaicaHas me here sitting with my thoughtsThe hubs and me, minus the kidsOur best friends helped to fill their spotsWe drank all day in the sunRum punch cocktails were plentifulBoogied down to reggae musicAnd watched the sunsets—beautiful!Each night at five we'd call homeTo both the girl and boy to say”How was your day? We love you both!””So glad to hear you
- [sleep deprived but still alive](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/sleepdeprivedbutstillalive/) - Remind me please, what is sleep?You see, it has been so damn longWe sleep so we can function?No way, the science must be wrong!The few hours I squeeze inMake me feel like an old hagI can't think or even see straightPlease don’t mind me while I bragThere’s no such thing as mom napsWith two kids,
- [the list that don't exist](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/thelisthatdontexist/) - We have an outing todayThe whole family, that is whoAnd a list that don't exist of thingsThat need to come with us, tooA list we all know wellBut no family members seem to careExcept for mom, she’s got thisI guess someone should be preparedDiapes and wipes, water for allExtra pants, kleenex, and socksMommy can be heard muttering”Man,
- [toddlers](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/toddlers/) - Toddlers , they can be the worstBut they can also be the bestLeave it to these little shitsTo put your patience to the testThey wake up ready to rockI hope you're prepared for the showIt's go-time, are you strapped in?Forget about morning hellosThey want their milk or somethingAnd you had better get to itThere's no
- [back to school (2020 edition)](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/backtoschool2020edition/) - T’was the night before school startingIn the year two thousand twenty oneAnd just like 2020COVID-19 may steal the funCohort A, B, C, or D?Class once this week and four days nextSingle file, far apartCan I be honest? I'm perplexed!The little one's don't realizeThat a desk will be their best friendSix feet away from their peersFrom
- [morning rush](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/themorningrush/) - If you think that lack of sleepCould send you straight up to the moonYou should live through morning rushLet me sing you this scary tunePotty training boys is funOften, pee sprays everywhereAs mom directs the children, it’s”Please aim that thing down there!”Tell me that you washed your handsOMG back upstairs we go!"I'm hungry, what's for
- [the old me](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/theoldme/) - The old me is a young doePacked with spirit and energyMy twenties hosted the best of timesCoupled with sleep for synergyWay back in the good old daysI was the one who made the rulesA decade or so later?Parenting's made me so uncoolThere was a time that I would shout”Bartender, make it a double!”But my mother tongue has changed to”Lid
- [grandparents](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/grandparents/) - Grandparents have a wayTo make the hardest days feel rightA quick call or a short visitCan turn a mood from dark to lightWhen life with kids is tryingAnd anything could blow your topGrandma and Grandpa will appearAnd the lid loosens before it popsIt seems as though the kids know tooWhen mom and dad just need a breakAnd so they
- [grandparents (part ii)](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/grandparentspart2/) - We know grandparents are swellBut after one day at their place?Parents must remind kids of rulesUntil we’re both blue in the faceWhen I tell my six-year-oldShe cannot have that chocolate treatShe asks when she'll see Gram nextAnd could care less she's not discreetIf our wee boy screams and shoutsThrowing a tantrum in a storeHe will yell for
- [primary age kids](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/primarykids/) - Primary kids sure are uniqueThey can be wild but tame, tooThey've had a few years practiceOf being told just what to doThey become more of themselvesBy connecting the world aroundAnd take on other's feelingsLike when their best friend wears a frownThey start to face challengesAnd compare others to themselvesThey still believe in SantaAnd the hard work
- [matriarch](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/matriarch/) - Matriarch; remarkableImagine, where would we all beWithout our elder womenIt’s not a world I’d like to see Although not often recognizedAmid families across the landMatriarchs act as the glueAnd often don't ask for a hand Easter, Thanksgiving, ChristmasThe more the merrier says sheWho is typically last to eatAnd even cleans up the turkey They dish
- [‘you're ok!’](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/youreok/) - There is a straightforward phraseAll honest parents overuseThat simple phrase is ‘you’re OK!’Referring to a bump or bruiseKids are rough and clumsyLet’s be honest, dramatic tooWon’t listen to mom when she says stopThey fake some injuries and sing the bluesSo, nine times out of tenAny parent in their right mindWill half-ass their concernA ‘you're OK!’ will do
- [first and last](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/firstandlast/) - I was the first to feel your toesGently kick me as you twirledGiggling, I’d trace the bumpsYou were mama's precious pearlUpon your grand arrivalI was the first to cry for youThe first to whisper in your earWith a warm welcome to our crewI was the first to understandYour little personalityFirst to explain your jumbled wordsWhen
- [snack bitch](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/snackbitch/) - I’ve been called a lot of thingsSnack Bitch is a name I give myselfReferring to my kids' requestsAbout snacks from the pantry’s shelf Snack Bitch is what I pictureMy kids call me in their headAs the King and Queen clamourIt ain’t Mom, it’s Snack Bitch instead When the children are at homeWhich is more often
- [ten little fingers, ten little toes](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/tenlittlefingers/) - Ten little fingersTen little toesOne happy mouthOne smelling noseOne set of earsAnother set of eyesAnd if I add my bright red tongueThat my friend makes five! My elbows are called funny bonesThey don’t grow any hairAnd then there are my two hard kneesOne right here and one left there I may have two long armsAnd
- [tickle monster](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/ticklemonster/) - The best things in life are freeFriendship, loyalty, laughter, loveFamily, nature, oxygenHugs, harmonious mourning doves Often missing from that listIs the most fun of all things freeTickles from mom to her babesI'm sure kids wouldn't disagree Tickles perform a clean sweepCan alter a child's nasty moodActing like a reset buttonFor the smallest attitudes When mom
- [mini me](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/minime/) - To see yourself in someone elseIs quite a thing to seeTiny humans with your own traitsA mommy or daddy’s Mini Me Overhearing your little oneSay something noble you might sayWith pride, they speak their pieceWhich may just take your breath away To witness your little oneDo something righteous you might doThink to yourself, I done
- [daycare pick up](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/daycarepickup/) - OMG it’s been a day!Mom thinks to herself againHops in her van and speeds awayFrom work, she’s made it through — Amen! Heading home mama debriefsAbout the wild day she’s hadAnd in her head she arguesWith her boss who made her mad But, a major shift occursWhen she arrives at the daycareAll her stresses flush
- [kids in public washrooms](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/kidsinpublicwashrooms/) - Public washrooms are disgustingEspecially if you have kidsSo much so, mom may preferHer child ends up with a skidWhile at a mall or restaurantParents cringe when their kids say“I have to use the washroom!”The fun transforms into dismay“Please don't touch the handles!”“Let mama get the door for you!”As the pair walk towards the stallMom prays
- [school lunches](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/schoollunches/) - All moms master different thingsSome pack school lunches before bedBut if mama is a foolThey're made in the morning insteadSchooldays quickly come and goFive days a week, less holidaysMom whips snacks in the kitchenRoutinely chopping life awayAlthough always last minuteShe does her best to includeProtein, produce, h2oA sweet treat, or there's attitudeLunch bag choices may seem endlessBut I have yet
- [things i (still) haven't learned as a mom](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/thingsistillhaventlearnedasamom/) - No matter the experienceI gain each day from motherhoodThere are still things I haven’t learnedAnd these are things I likely shouldWhen the kids and I are drivingAnd something neat catches my eyeI point it out a tad too lateAnd that is when they start to cryIf I mention there’s a playdateToo early in the weekI
- [cleaning out their closet](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/handmedownsarepickmeups/) - Of the many chores that moms can’t standGoing through clothes may take the cakeEvery six months or so, it’s timeTo give kid's closets a good rake This usually occurs when momNotices bare ankles or belliesKids grow fast and nothing fitsNot even socks or spring wellies The reason that this household taskIs at the top of
- [kids & hugs](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/kidsandhugs/) - There’s endless power in a hugEffort minimal, outcome vastAnd like eating well and exerciseIts euphoric feeling often lasts Hugging children is pivotalIt wraps kids up and reminds themThat they are not alone to faceLife's hardships sure to stem Performing poorly on a testOr getting last place in a sportIs sure to make a child feelThat they have fallen short But
- [i feel like i've done nothing today](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/ifeellikeivedonenothingtoday/) - I am not sure why it isMoms often feel we’ve done nothingWhen on any given day, there isA to-do list that’s in full swingThe items that appear are thoseThings written only in our headThe chores we would love to forgetBut they are must be dones insteadIn the morning it’s importantThe children practice good hygieneHair combed,
- [cuz](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/cuz/) - What a wonderful feelingFor little kids when they are toldThey will see their cousins soonThey act as though they have struck goldOff children roam for the dayDoing “nothing” togetherAll connected as they playThrough some invisible tetherGiggle fests often ensueAs the kid group becomes oneParents don't care to get the jokeSo long as they are having
- [it takes a village to support a mom](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/ittakesavillagetosupportamom/) - Whichever way a mama turnsRight from the time the lines turn blueShe starts to second-guess herselfBecause her baby has no clueEvery mother feels as thoughShe needs to make the best choicesBut endless options meanHer mind is crammed with new voicesSometimes, mom may need supportBut is too embarrassed to askDay in day out, she plows forwardHoping no one peaks behind
- [mummy tummy](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/mummy-tummy/) - Following her child’s birthWhen mama pauses at a mirrorShe may be surprised to seeHer belly still looks like a sphere No one tells a first-time momThat after her baby is bornFor weeks she’ll still look pregnantAnd her new tummy she may mourn Deflating bump, loosened skinSome acquire deep, indented streaksSupple stomach replaced withStretch marks, making
- [mompreneur](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/mompreneur/) - Up late again, tasks to completeAlways so much to be doneLaptop open, sitting in bedHair up in a messy bunBetween caring for the kidsAnd managing it all at homeFinding time for a side hustleMeans searching with a fine-tooth combThen, when mama locates timeTo give her business a quick blitzShe picks up her cell or laptopWhich
- [mom](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/mom/) - Nothing is more powerfulThan a woman giving birthThe universe brews in her wombA baby born from Mother EarthAll of that time nuzzled insideJoined through a life-giving tetherIs what makes childbirth as ancientAs a bird losing its featherWhen babe is placed into her armsMom connects with the little oneA coo, a cry, a little lookShe can
- [playdates at the park](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/playdatesatthepark/) - Park dates seem like a good ideaAnd that is because mama will seeAnother mom she's fond ofGrown-up conversation soon will beTexts are exchanged throughout the weekThe pair are thrilled they will catch upOne mom is excited to ventThe other, about her family's new pupTwo crews arrive at the parkWith minivans jam-packed with zestDoors slide open, the kids dash outTowards the park and
- [stuff only moms hear](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/stuffonlymomshear/) - Every single mom I knowCould write her own compelling bookBecause it seems that each new dayProduces a new hookWhen kids are small, they say thingsThat makes us laugh until we cryOne day, our youngest asked me"Why does my penis have an eye?"”There's pee and poo on my hand, ma!”This, a line no mom wants to hearBecause she knows a
- [road trippin' with kids](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/roadtrippinwithkids/) - Our family is excitedKids can barely keep their coolIn the morning, we head outTo a big place with a rad poolHowever, there's an issueThe fun place is hours awayAnd the long drive means that weAre in a van the whole damn dayWay back when road trips meantPre-mama packed for only oneA pillow, wine, cute outfits—This girl was ready for some funNow, the
- [my daddy, my rock](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/mydaddymyrock/) - Society tells menThey must be hardened like a rockBut watch a brand-new fatherReceive his newborn from a DocOn that day, when their eyes meetA transformation he goes throughBecomes a hero to his kidsWho copy all that daddies doThe very day baby is bornA new awakening is coaxedAs ancient dads of past bestowA lengthy list of corny
- [falls on mom](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/fallsonmom/) - The patriarchy has a wayTo make mothers feel as thoughAll that her family doesShould fall on her, which isn’t soIf two adults live in a homeWhy, then, do we assumeWhen things are out of placeIt can’t be Ward; it must be JuneWhen both the parents and the kidsAre invited to eventsThe dads sit back, drink beer,
- [summer birthdays are the best (children’s book concept)](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/summerbirthdaysarethebest/) - Raise your hand if your birthday Is in August, July, or JuneThen, repeat after me And sing this happy birthday tune:"Summer birthdays are the best!Summer birthdays are the best!Summer birthdays are the best!Summer birthdays are the best!" Summer birthdays are outside Where the sun warms up my skinIt feels like a vacation Which is a
- [it takes a village to raise a child](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/ittakesavillagetoraiseachild/) - When a child is bornThe cosmos encounter a shiftAnd we’re reminded a wombHolds in it the world's greatest giftIt does not make a differenceIf a child is yours or it’s mineKids require communityTo ensure a life that’s alignedIf we wish for them to thriveAnd there’s no doubt we all want thatChildren must form other bondsTo face all
- [bathtime pirates](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/bathtimepirates/) - After dinner, before booksA swarthy crew who played all-dayRequire mom's attentionTo scrub those pesky germs awayKids step inside the vesselLay down to graze the hullEars dip beneath the waterEnsuring mama’s voice is dulledCaptain Mom is perched on starboardLow back twisted, out of placeAs she washes the small shipmatesWho wail of water on their faceBubble beards smell like sweet
- [housework makes you ugly](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/houseworkmakesyouugly/) - Housework makes you uglyAt least that is what they sayIt seems that they are right againA fool-proof way to add some greys Large furniture needs liftingRolling up and shaking rugsDusting causes sneezingWhile sweeping uncovers dead bugs Handwashing grimy surfacesLackluster motion, to and froInhaling nasty chemicalsSoon mom’s sweat begins to glow Vacuum carried up the stairsInactive
- [me-time](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/me-time/) - Feeling swamped with all the thingsDue to a never-ending listShe needs some time just to herselfOr mama bear will become pissed! Name it whatever you prefer:Brain break, me-time, or self-careNo matter how it’s referredIt’s mama’s chance to clear the air A fun night out with girlfriendsOr a quiet day at the spaA refreshing walk in
- [cooking with kids](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/cookingwkids/) - If you’d like to test your patienceI would suggest cooking with kidsThey want to help with everythingIncluding unscrewing tight lids The problem is that their small handsCannot get a solid gripJar smashes on the ground, and thisWhen mama’s patience starts to slip Perhaps you’re baking cookiesIngredients measured out with careBut pouring flour in the bowlLeaves powder in the child’s hair Milk,
- [grocery shopping with kids](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/groceryshoppingwithkids/) - Solo supermarket runsCan often be enoughTo make mom feel on edgePrice tags, people, and all that stuff Something she steers clear ofIs adding children to that mixGrocery shopping with her kidsIs not how mama gets her kicks There is pushing, there is shovingOver every little thingThen there’s grabbing from the shelvesChips, candy, pop, gum, and icing Mama shouting
- [dad said duck](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/dadsaidduck/) - “Hey, you guys, how was your day?”Mommy asks as she walks inShe had the whole day to herselfSo ear to ear mom wears a grin She notices that daddyHas had a time himselfTaking off her shoes, she seesOne rascal climbing up a shelf As mom grabs the little tykeShe hears another child cryingThey didn’t get the yellow cupBut one would guess that
- [fall birthdays are the best (children's book concept)](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/autumnbirthdaysarethebest/) - If your special day occursIn any one of these three months:September, October, or NovemberPlease raise your hand at onceNow, on the count of threeSing to a tune that’s super funThe Happy Birthday melodyA song you’ve heard since you turned oneIf you're ready to sing with me, please chime in on the count of three.One, two,
- [screen time](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/screentime/) - Whether we love them or we hate themDevices are central in our livesWhen our phones are not within arms reachWe feel as though we are deprived As adults we understandHow detrimental this can beBut children are not ableTo comprehend like you and me In the morning before schoolThey may forget they need to eatInstead, consuming Youtube ShortsWhile
- [what kids hear](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/whatkidshear/) - Imagine for a momentThat you are three feet tallAttempting to be noticedBut your person is quite small Everyone is talkingYou have something to addBut loud voices overpowerSo you give up, and you feel sad Your favourite show is onAnd you are just about to laughTV turns off without warningWhen mom says it’s time to bathYou ask your dad
- [look mommy look](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/lookmommylook/) - There’s no one more demandingThan a tot with something to showThey want to be seen, heard, understoodNeed mom’s attention; all systems go! Being interruptedSmack in the middle of a taskDerails one’s train of thoughtBut that is just how children ask Kids will announce on repeatWhat they really want mom to seeMight be a stone or a spin kickBut ‘til
- [kids are always sick](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/kidsarealwayssick/) - It seems that when the newborn phaseComes to an end, mama has hadMore than her share of sleepless nightsShe's pleased to leave behind this fad Perhaps mom returned to workAfter some time off with her babeBut after just a few short weeksA bug hits Suzie like a wave The awkward conversation comesEarlier than mama figuredA request to work from home
- [christmas hangover](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/christmashangover/) - As the festivities wind downWith no more parties to head toKids live in their pajamasUntil school begins anew The world at large, we’re all confusedAbout what day it is againMoms allow more than their normAnd are the Snack Bitches of their den There’s a mess in each directionAs new toys mix in with the oldEven still, kids have sword fightsWith leftover wrapping paper rolls The Christmas
- [home is where mom is](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/homeiswheremomis/) - Before making our grand entranceInto the world for all to seeWe’re nestled inside mommyOur first home fits us to a T The tears we cry at childbirthAre soothed and comforted by momWrapped up tight, she holds us closeHer touch and heartbeat make us calm Tummy pains, earaches, sore throatsMom is there to be our nurseBad day, nightmare,
- [winter birthdays are the best  (children's book concept)](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/winterbirthdaysarethebest/) - Are you one of the lucky onesWith a birthday to remember?Were you born in the monthOf January, February, or December?If it's a yes, please sing the tuneOf the Happy Birthday song with meAre you ready? Let me hear you!On the count of one, two, threeOne, two, three...Winter birthdays are the best!Winter birthdays are the best!Winter
- [kids hear the darndest things](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/kidshearthedarndestthings/) - When asking kiddos to behaveIt seems that they misunderstandInstead, they’ve heard to act a foolWhich means mom must reprimandAt an ominous eventWhere being quiet is requiredSuch as funerals and church servicesThey act like they’ve been set on fireWhen we are walking through a storeAnd mom says no to all requestsThey’re at the till with gum
- [toys! toys everywhere!](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/toystoyseverywhere/) - There are nightmares, there are dreamsToday we’ll focus on the formerAnxiety for mom looks likePicking up another damn Transformer Toys are left where they are droppedAnd they are dropped where kids see fitDiverted attention thata wayMeans kids unhand a toy, then split! Descended toys leave scattered trailsFrom a foyer to a basementUpstairs too, in all
- [vacation from vacation](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/vacationfromvacation/) - It has been decidedThe fam is going on vacaTo somewhere nice and someplace warmAnd leave the same four walls for playThe anticipation is arduous“How many sleeps before we go?”Same question asked for weeks beforeA torment parents undergoMom overwaters all the houseplantsAnd organizes all the clothesKitty needs a cat sitterSuch coordinating mama loathesShe creates a list of
- [school's out for the summer](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/schoolsoutforthesummer/) - Every year around late springMoms and teachers get the itchBoth are over the routineBackpacks ready to be ditchedThe final days of school arriveThis means summer's here to stayAnd this also means that mama’s needNew plans to fill up her kids daysSummer has mama in chargeOf finding things for them to doAnd kids are more than happyIf a tablet is
- [bedtime stories](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/bedtimestories/) - There are many momentsOn any given dayMoms are strapped and overwhelmedKids are intense; mom’s underpaid! But at night things quiet downAnd that’s when mama can connectWith her babies over booksBonding's in full effect Kids choose their favourite titlesStories they’ve heard a hundred timesThat's great, since mom has masteredThe silly voices and sweet rhymes The group unite as one Hop in mom's bed, huddle aroundNo phones, no
- [temper tantrums](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/temper-tantrums/) - They happen unexpectedlyStraight out of the blueThings are going well, and thenA calm space turns into a zooChimpanzees and parrotsCannot match the noiseComing from a childWho cannot find their toy Tots whose clothing feels too tightOn their legs or on their armsOr the colour cup that mom grabbedRequires sounding the alarm They never want to leaveA kids' party
- [kindergarten](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/kindergarten/) - It seems there are few momentsIn our children’s livesWhen they must take a leap of faithAnd grow up right before our eyes First day of KindergartenIs no doubt one of those daysThe little one is nervousAnd may plead for mom to stay Her heart will ache a littleWants to hold on, but she acceptsThat change is required for growthThis
- [hand-me-downs are pick-me-ups](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/hand-me-downs-are-pick-me-ups/) - Brothers, sisters, cousins,An older friend across the streetEach have the potentialTo hand down clothes, but not to keep You see, if shirts and sweatersSocks, shorts, pants, and cute outfitsRemain without a rip or stainAnother child benefits Often, kids don’t realizeWhat they're wearing isn't theirsIf it wasn't purchased from a storeIt's from another mom who shares Children grow at turbo speedWhat fits
- [are you even a mom if](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/are-you-even-a-mom-if/) - Are You even a mom ifYou’ve not caught throw-up in your hands?Or spent Sunday mornings cheeringAs your Little’s biggest fan? Are you even a mom ifYou eat dinner while it’s hot?Or thought that you were crushing life'Til a birthday party, you forgot? Are you even a mom ifYou’re not pulled fifteen different ways?Or had an unexpected poopCause a
- [sexy time](https://momsaidduck.com/poems/sexy-time/) - It’s likely been a minuteSince mom and dad have spentSome time alone togetherFor their most favourite eventKids are almost always aroundIt’s what parents sign up forBut every so often, mamaWants to trade out daddy’s snoresBut, there's no feeling more conflictingThan sexy time inside the houseWith kids at home, innocence at stakeMom's not as quiet as a mouseThere’s the

## Venues

- [Mom Said Duck](https://momsaidduck.com/venue/mom-said-duck/)
- [Fringe Windsor](https://momsaidduck.com/venue/fringe-windsor/)
- [The Capitol Theatre](https://momsaidduck.com/venue/the-capitol-theatre/)

## Organizers

- [Mom Said Duck](https://momsaidduck.com/organizer/mom-said-duck/)

## Events

- [Mom Said Duck: Tales from the Mothership — @ Fringe Windsor](https://momsaidduck.com/event/fringe-windsor-tales-from-the-mothership/) - BY Mom Said Duck Tales From the Mothership with Mom Said Duck is a hilarious and heartfelt live show blending comedy, storytelling, and spoken-word poetry about the beautiful mess of motherhood. With sharp observations, relatable chaos, and laugh-out-loud honesty, Mom Said Duck turns everyday parenting struggles into a wildly entertaining escape for moms, parents,
- [Comedy Night for Parents with Mom Said Duck at  the Capitol Theatre](https://momsaidduck.com/event/mom-said-duck-the-capitol-theatre/) - Parenting. Marriage. Trying to keep it all together with one hand while holding a cold cup of coffee in the other. Join Jill—the unapologetically honest mom behind Mom Said Duck—for an evening of laughter, chaos, and brutally relatable stories about the beautiful mess that is motherhood. What started as a viral blog and a handful
- [She Means Business Brunch](https://momsaidduck.com/event/she-means-business-brunch/) - Celebrating International Women's Day Thursday March 5 2026! Featuring Keynote Speaker Erika Harris - Senior Environmental Health & Safety Specialist - BASF She Means Business Brunch IG Link WindsorEssex Chamber of Commerce Link Date and Time Doors Open & Registration 9:30 AM Opening Remarks & Programming 10:00 AM Brunch 11:30 AM Location Address

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