the list that don't exist

We have an outing today
The whole family, that is who
And a list that don't exist of things
That need to come with us, too

A list we all know well
But no family members seem to care
Except for mom, she’s got this
I guess someone should be prepared

Diapes and wipes, water for all
Extra pants, kleenex, and socks
Mommy can be heard muttering
”Man, this is such a ducking crock!”

Where’s daddy? What'd he grab?
What's that? He's sitting in the truck?
Oh is that right, Honey Bun?
”Daaaad! I think mommy just said duck!”

Stuffing the diaper bag
With everything but the kitchen sink
Did I grab a few soothers?
This place had better serve stiff drinks

A few sweaters — might get cold
Should grab their sneakers just in case
Funny that hubs winked at me
When tonight he won't reach first base

Next, it’s baby bottles
Sunscreen, towels, of course, snacks too
”Nah, I'm good. You hang out there…
Don't you worry, I got this boo!”

OK — I think we're ready!
I grab my phone and check my hair
And when I make it to the truck it's
"Geesh…what were you doing in there?"